Fine Tuning

Starting Over Better

2007-06-23T09:27:00.000-05:00

This post is re-published from my other blog, On Second Thought...

A new journey begins...

I have less than one year before my 35th birthday. I have promised myself that when I turn 35 I will be in the best shape of my life. This week I've given the phrase "the best shape of my life" a second thought.

There was time when I thought being in shape meant being able to fit into any size 4 on the rack. I quickly learned that, for me, that was really called being anorexic. Then, I decided that being in shape meant maintaining a size 6, and throwing up my french fries and double cheeseburger and shake if I happened to slip up to an 8. That was really called being bulimic, despite the benefits of gaining amazing control of my gag reflex. Being in shape was about a number: my weight, my jeans size, how many miles I could run in a week, how many times I could run the stairs in the stadium, how many laps I swam. I was/am no athlete. I was what Debbie calls skinny fat. I was a petite woman who ate like my heart was my worst enemy and I was duty bound to kill it with fast food, sugary sweets and the absence of all things that grow from the ground, except for when I'd go through one of my health nut cycles.

Over the years I have had periods of extreme conscientiousness about what I eat. Like most things with me, my enthusiasm about eating better has ebbed and flowed. I'm about to turn 35. I'm out of wiggle room. The choices I make about what I do to my body now will make or break how I grow old. I prefer to do so gracefully without preventable diseases. I have to make changes now.

I started reading Toni Morrison's, The Bluest Eye, this week. I was only a few pages in when I came upon this sentence.

I learned much later to worship her, just as I learned to delight in cleanliness, knowing, even as I learned, that the change was adjustment without improvement.

The context of that statement isn't as important as the italicized phrase. Those six words hit me like a ton of bricks. It struck me as antithetical to all I hope to be accomplishing along this journey of personal growth. I've made changes in my life. Many, many changes at many different times. I am smack in the middle of one of the most significant seasons of change I've ever experienced, even more significant than the time period that birthed this blog. I don't want to look back at this time as a period of adjustment without improvement. I want to be better. I want to be a better friend, a better daughter, a better sister, cousin, niece, aunt and granddaughter. I want to be a better employee, a better citizen, a better companion, student, coworker. I want to be a better stranger. I want to be a better me. Different is not good enough. I want to be better.

When it comes to living a healthy lifestyle, I've made adjustments many times. I will make many more. But I've begun to make improvements. It's time for me to start eating like an adult. I have a great independent organic market less than 2 miles from my house. I have no excuses. I walked up and down the aisles this evening amazed by how many choices their are for eating well. I've decided that my grocery list will be comprised of items from two lists. The SuperFoods list is the priority. The World's Healthiest Foods list will round out the rest. Now, since I'm about improvement and not just adjustment here, I've tried it out for over a week. I haven't starved to death. I've eaten foods I love. I've eaten often (seems like all day long) to boost my metabolism. I've felt better than I have in a long time. I've dropped 5 pounds, just like that. And I haven't worked out once. Yet. I even went to Happy Hour last night and ordered an avocado and tomato salad and quinoa tabbouleh (and 2 blood orange margaritas). I never missed a chip or buffalo wing. It was lovely, I tell you.

I was in Whole Foods with Katrice last week and, as you may have read on her blog (which I won't link because there are nut cases among us), and we ran into Dick Gregory. I was doing my first big shopping spree from the Super Foods list, and I took this as a prophetic endorsement that I am somehow on the right track (why? because I'm corny like that!) I was tickled to see him, and while I am not going raw foodist (yet), he still inspired me to do better than I've been doing.

I'll probably continue the discussion of how this whole change is going on Fine Tuning, my pathetic chronicle of my weight loss efforts. But it was important enough today, for me to mention it here. I'm done adjusting for the sake of adjusting. It's time to get better, healthier.

Today when I think of being in shape I think of the whole person. Not just what I eat or if I work out. There's so much more to fitness. The mind, body and spirit are connected and interdependent. And as much as I've chosen to rid my body of unnecessary hormones, preservatives and toxins, I'm diligently plugging away at those things that clutter and preoccupy my mind and weigh upon my spirit. You'll hear about more of it here. Even if it gets political and politically incorrect.

Stay tuned.

Spring has Sprung!

2007-03-20T22:04:00.000-05:00

Hmmm. Well, so much for being back in the saddle for the new year. I've been seriously slacking, but spring is here, so it's time to get it back in gear. I walk/ran a couple of miles today. It felt great go get moving again. I'm hope to get back into my groove soon. The last time I weighed myself I was right back at my starting point. No biggie. I've lost it before and I'll do it again. Here's my realistic goal--I've got one year and 3 months to my 35th birthday. At 35 I want to be in the best shape of my life. That's the plan and I'm working on it one day at a time. See ya at the finish line!!

New Year, Back in the Saddle

2007-01-02T14:00:00.000-05:00

OK. It's now 2 days into the new year and it's time to get it back in gear. I just weighed myself (I was so terrified to do this) and the holidays didn't do me in as badly as I had anticipated.

I already had chocolate chip cookies and milk for breakfast. Sue me. But I will put them into my calorie counter. It's on again.

I've completely lost track of which week this is, so I'm done with that part of the count. But here are my new numbers:

Current Weight: 207.2pounds

Weight loss so far: 3.8 pounds

Biggest Temptation: All these damn cookies still in my house!!!

My treat: All these damn cookies still in my house!!!

My best discovery: I didn't gain it all back over the holidays. Yay!!

Slow but Sure

2006-12-04T20:21:00.000-05:00

This week has been somewhat disappointing. I still lost, but I missed 3 days of the gym. I knew it was going to be a bit of an adjustment since I was off all last week. I tried to double up on the days I did go to the gym, but I think that's too much on my body at once.

I'm having to learn moderation and patience with this process. I am in a pattern now of consistent loss, but it's slow. I'm not used to that. When I was younger I could lose 10 pounds in 2 weeks like it was nothing. I rarely kept that weight off, but still it seemed like I did so much better.

I've grown frustrated with the incessant logging of my food intake. I think I've done it long enough that I have an idea of what my food intake should be. I'm going to give up tracking every single bite I eat this week and see if I've learned anything.

I attribute this week's minimal loss to the fact that I was polishing off Thanksgiving leftovers, and probably grossly underestimating the caloric content of things like corn pudding. Yummy. I left it out on the counter for 2 days so that I could throw it out in good conscience.

I made homemade vegetable soup to take for lunch this week and I baked some sweet potatoes. I really need to increase my veggie intake. Hopefully changing the foods this week and going to the gym consistently and moderately rather than having marathon workouts will make some difference.

The scale at the gym is very different than my home scale. I weighed in at 197 at the gym. I can't really get too excited about that because I know that it's very far from where I am on my home scale. I can't wait until that one says 197.

I went out to a party on Saturday night. I was excited to have drawn a little attention. I've got a long way to go, but I feel like I'm slowly working my way back into what feels like my very own skin. I don't know whose body this is I've been carrying around for 2 years....mine is emerging. Slowly. But. Surely.

WEEK 8

Current Weight: 202.4 pounds

Weight loss so far: 9.6 pounds

Biggest Temptation: thanksgiving leftovers

My treat: Banana split ice cream

My best discovery: Slow and steady wins the race.

I Made It

2006-11-27T12:35:00.000-05:00

I don't have tons of time to write today, but I am so excited to have dropped weight after Thanksgiving. I worked out really hard, but I also took off Friday and this morning to let my body recover from it all.

My new results are below. Yay, me!!!

WEEK 7

Current Weight: 202.8 pounds

Weight loss so far: 9.2 pounds

Biggest Temptation: Thankgiving leftovers

My treat: Cranberry sauce with pecans

My best discovery: I'm gonna do this!!!

Turkey Day!!!

2006-11-23T12:01:00.000-05:00

I have worked my tail off this week. I've been on vacation this week and I dedicated this time to really pushing myself to make exercise a priority for me. I've made a couple of sacrifices...like, my hair, but it's been worth it.

I've worked out 2-3 hours a day all week. And not wimpy walking or fake sitting on machines at the gym. I've put in hours of kickboxing, step aerobics, weight lifting, and yoga/pilates. I feel GREAT! Do you hear me? FANTASTIC. I keep battling the strange looks I'm getting from folks who probably think I'm overdoing it. But I remember when I watched the first season of Biggest Loser. I thought, if I had nothing to do all day but work out, I could get those results too. Well, this week I had nothing to do all day but work out...and that's exactly what I've done.

In the last for days I lost another WHOLE pound. I'm at 204.00. I'm very, very excited about that. I think I'm going to burst into tears the morning my scale says 199. Let me tell you, once I cross that, I'm never going back. And I am determined as hell not to take 200 lbs. into 2007. So, mark my words. I will lose at least five more pounds by years end.

I've been eating my same 1500 calories. I'm ending up with net calories at like -300 some days. I haven't eaten extra calories because I've been saving them all up for TODAY!!! I plan to eat whatever I want today. Yay!!! I've already done the Turkey Burner Blowout: 1.5 hours of combination kick, step, lifting, and yoga, so I've made some room. I really don't care if I haven't made room. I'm eating today. But, in a way I don't feel like I've been deprived all that much. I've been eating what I want, only less, and I'm fine.

Last night I really, really wanted ice cream. I went to the store and bought ice cream. I still had like 700 calories left to consume after dinner, so I went for it. 3 servings=1 and 1/2 cups of helado. It didn't give me the thrill I expected. That's a good thing, I guess.

You know what thrilled me this week? I made egg noodles (because they cook faster than linguini) with clam sauce. I didn't add any olive oil at all to the clam sauce, so it was really light. I put extra red pepper flakes so that it was especially spicy. I loved it. I'd been depriving myself of carbs for some reason. I don't know why. There's no need. The daily plate says I'm way low on my carbs for the month.

Anyway, Happy Thankgiving and Good Eats to all!!

I'll see on Monday if all my pre-burning paid off.

Peace.

I'm Back...

2006-11-20T09:19:00.000-05:00

So, I got back from travel for work and I was back up to 211. This broke my heart and I was too upset to deal with this blog. But it motivated me.

I couldn't deal with all of my progress being so dependent upon my food choices each day. I needed to make progress that I had better controls of, so I've started back to working out: kickboxing, step aerobics, weight lifting and toning classes primarily. I'm really motivated and I'm seeing crazy changes in my body already. I go every single day, but I usually end up taking off one day to give my body a rest. This is really hard because I'm working two jobs right now. But, I've gotta do it, so most mornings I go at 5:30 AM. It's early enough so I can come back and get a nap before work too.

I'm setting up this week for the holidays and I refused to let this wreck my progress. My gym refuses too. They're having a context where you get gym bucks for everytime you work out during the holidays. The higher calorie-burning activities are worth more and you get bonus bucks for doubling up in one day and for choosing some of the alternative classes like Centergy which is a combination of yoga and Pilates. You can spend your bucks on gym items (my gym has the cutest workout clothes!) or you can save up until the end for the big prizes. My goal is $5000 gym bucks which buys....oh yeah...4 60-minute massage sessions!!!!

I'm off all week and I've dedicated most of my free hours to sweating the hell out of myself so that Thursday....um, Friday and....um, Saturday, I can eat what a Iwant.

Don't freak....here's the deal. There's a Turkey Burner 90-min Kickboxing, weight lifting and step combo class Thursday morning designed to burn at least 1000 calories before the big feast. And Friday and Saturday I've promised myself no leftovers if I don't go to the gym. So have no fear.

My results so far, you ask:

WEEK 6

Current Weight: 205.0 pounds

Weight loss so far: 7.0 pounds

Biggest Temptation: Not to finish eating before I'm logging my calories

My treat: My chocolates, still.

My best discovery: Working out makes this so much easier. I feel like I have wiggle room in my diet, even though I haven't really used it too much.

FRUSTRATED AS HELL!!!

2006-11-06T11:03:00.000-05:00

THIS is precisely why someone needs to take my scale away from me. I weighed in Saturday at 205.2. I was so excited about it and ate relatively well this weekend. I binged a bit on Halloween candy for breakfast on Saturday, but I accounted for all of the calories. I drank quite a bit of red wine Saturday evening, whose calories I may have under-estimated a tad. I weigh in this morning, two days later--207.2!! How can I have possibly gained 2 pounds back in 2 days?

And, did I mention that I worked out both Saturday and Sunday.

I add an exercise routine to my weight loss plan and I feel like things are falling apart. I know that I'm being dramatic and obsessive, which is precisely why I'm posting these feelings, so someone can smack me! Hard!

I was tempted not to post today, not to count calories anymore, not to add my new weight to my graph on the The Daily Plate, but I've resisted all of those temptations. I'm struggling really hard not to be devastated, besides disappointed. Really, really hard. I know that my body needs time to adjust to the changes I made by adding the exercise. I know I need to throw the damn mini Kit Kats the hell away. I know I need to stop freaking out. But I wanted to throw the scale against the wall this morning and scream.

But, I'm not going to give up. I'm not going to let this totally derail me. Somebody needs to take my scale away and only let me use it once a week...or once a month.

Seriously.

And don't offer me any more damned peanut M&Ms!!! I will eat them all! The whole freakin' 2 pound bag!!!!

A Tough Weekend

2006-10-30T08:23:00.000-05:00

This has been a very difficult week for me to be successful. I had dinner at my favorite Cuban restaurant with my cousin on Thursday. My friend's bachelorette party was Friday night. I was out shopping for the wedding all day Saturday, so I had to eat out twice. And, Sunday was the wedding.

But I made it through all of these rich, high calorie food situations and still managed to lose. I don't know exactly how, but here are some of the things I did:

I only ate about a Tbs. full of the rice that was served with my ropa vieja. I devoured the black beans instead. I left some fried plantain on my plate (even though I had mine and hers on there) despite the difficulty. I chose the sangria over the mojito, less sugar. And I shared dessert. I was satisfied, didn't feel I was being too restrictive and I enjoyed the meal.

At the bachelorette party I filled up initially on steamed shrimp and fresh fruit and raw veggies. I initially ate about a half a cup of curried chicken salad. When I went back for more, I also piled on more fruit and veggies. I was drinking mojitos, strong mojitos, so I wanted to make sure I had some food in my stomach. I avoided the fried chicken wings until after the drinking game, at which point all my inhibitions were pretty much gone. I ate about 6 pieces, so 3 wings. And, then they cut the cake, so I ate some of that too, but scraped off the icing. When I got ready for bed, I drank tons of water, but that was mostly to avoid a hangover. I tried, but I felt like I blew it in the end. I did manage to stay away from the chips, the bread/crackers/dips trays, deviled eggs and meatballs.

Saturday in the mall was tough. I had a Chipotle chicken Burrito Bol, no rice for lunch. And bourbon chicken with cucumber salad as the side for dinner. I also split a Cinnabon with 2 other people...so I had third of that. And my COCA~COLA!!! God, I wanted that coke. 16 oz and I was satisfied.

At the wedding I had a bunch of crab-dip and these fried bread wedges. Horrible, but delicious!! I ate a couple of the fried shrimp appetizers and some crackers and cheese and a couple of strawberries. I had 2 glasses of red wine and by when it was time for dinner, I wasn't that interested. I picked at sauteed veggies, chicken marsala, roasted brisket with gravy and one red potato cut in half. I didn't finish anything. Came close on the beef. No cake.

So, all in all, I thought I had really blown it because I didn't feel like I was that in control of what I ate this week, but I did pretty well. I still lost over the weekend (most of the loss this week happened early on) and that's always good.

Had first person ask if I was losing weight yesterday too. Sweet! No, correction, Mommy noticed on Friday night.

WEEK 4

Current Weight: 206.4 pounds

Weight loss so far: 5.6 pounds

Biggest Temptation: To obsess about how many calories are in food

My treat: I finally had a Coke!!!

My best discovery: I can make room for pretty much anything I want to eat. And, eating out and drinking doesn't have to wreck my progress.

That's Better!

2006-10-24T09:17:00.000-05:00

I weighed in at 207.4 today.

I know I shouldn't be weighing myself daily, but that last spike in my weight discouraged me a little. I feel better now.

Although this isn't an official weigh in, that would be down 4.6lbs.

Much better.

3 Weeks, Still Losing...Yay!!

2006-10-23T12:50:00.000-05:00

This was a good week for me. I did a nine-mile hike on Saturday. Yay, me!! It has motivated me to really kick the fitness part into gear. I'm going to try to do something everyday. I get discouraged about working out because I beat myself up terribly when I don't stick to something. I'm trying to learn to be happy to have gotten moving at all. I'm trying to get over wanting this to happen overnight. I know it won't and it shouldn't.

When I weighed myself on Thursday I was 208.8 lbs. I felt bad this morning, although I know the difference is just .4 lbs. I so wanted to post the 208. I've decided to include the decimal place because it gives a much more accurate measure of what my weight is doing. So, while it's not as much of a loss as I hoped to record this week...it's a loss, so, yay!

This calorie counting is so much easier than I thought it would be. I'm a believer now that it works and it doesn't have to consume your life. I can't believe I'm losing and the only changes I've made so far are dietary...and not even starvation. LOL.

A trip to the massage therapist really awakened my senses to how much stress factors into all that I've been doing (or not doing) to/for my body. It's time to take care of me. Not just the emotional me, but the physical me too. You can't really separate the two, I'm learning.

WEEK 3

Current Weight: 209.2 pounds

Weight loss so far: 2.8 pounds

Biggest Temptation: a big plate of pasta or rice

My treat: Nutrageous Minis or 1/2 c. Breyer's Rocky Road ice cream

My best discovery: Counting calories works! AND 1 fried chicken wing has 200 calories-- good LORD!!

Well, That's ONE Way of Putting It!

2006-10-20T19:26:00.000-05:00

I thought this was an absolute hilarious way to break down my weight issue. Hilarious.

Based on your goal of BMI 24.5, your goal weight is 138.3 pounds. Preliminary research suggests that, on average, people rate both men and women as being most attractive around BMI 22, although a fair number of men rate women in the BMI 23-24 range as being most attractive.
You have 70.5 pounds of body fat to lose in order to reach your goal weight.
If a pound of your fat stores 3500 calories, you have 24700 calories of stored food on your body. That means you are carrying the equivalent of 1235 doughnuts (200 calories each) around with you at all times in the form of surplus body fat. If a famine were to start, these stored doughnuts would be very helpful for you because you could live off them for 3.6 months without eating a single thing. Your body would simply consume your 'doughnuts' (surplus body fat) to keep you healthy.

Want to check yours?

A Little Progress!

2006-10-16T10:23:00.000-05:00

I have made some progress this week. One whole pound! I wouldn't say by any stretch of the imagination that I've put my all into the new program, but I've made some small changes. Here's what's worked for me this week:

Counting my calories on thedailyplate.com has made me much more conscientious about what I put in my mouth. It's actually motivating to see that I'm on track for a particular day.
Drinking water before and after meals helps. I really don't need all of the food I am accustomed to eating. I'm paying more attention to when it's time to stop.
I did a 4.5 mile hike-ette on Saturday. I'm looking forward to adding more exercise to my week. Gotta get out of that bed in the am. I'll try to get in a few more days this week.
Allowing myself a treat or two really helps. I don't do well when told I can't have something, but if I can negotiate for something I want, I can manage.

I remember,when I did the Body for Life challenge, being allowed to binge on one day of the week. It requires a much more strict "diet" on the other six days, but if I can get my exercise to where it was during that time, I may have one day to just go for it.

WEEK 2

Current Weight: 211 pounds

Weight loss so far: 1 pounds

Biggest Temptation: coke, juice

My treat: Nutrageous Minis

My best discovery: Counting calories actually motivates me to stay on track!

Just about One Week

2006-10-13T20:26:00.000-05:00

I thought this week was going to be so much harder than it has really been. My daily calorie limit is 1500. Here's how I did. I don't know why I didn't count Wednesday...oh, yes I do. I had to teach that night, so I got in late and didn't bother counting. Here are my totals:

Tues: 1531
Thur: 1484
Fri: 1390

I haven't felt particularly hungry. Water is my friend. And, my urge to binge on sweets is abated by the sense of accomplishment I feel when I realize that I'm pretty much on track.

This morning I even had a big chocolate chip cookie for breakfast. It was delicious, and I still came in under my calories for the day. This seems surprisingly do-able. I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

I weigh in Monday. I did sneak and weigh myself Wednesday, but I'm going to try not to be a slave to the scale. I'll let you know where I am come Monday.

Have a good weekend.

Stutter Start

2006-10-10T21:46:00.000-05:00

Today I went to the doctor. We talked about a weight loss plan. He suggested limiting carbs, up-ing fruits and veggies, drinking water before and after meals for satiety, and making my exercise routine less sporadic. He didn't say don't eat this, don't eat that. He said to try it for a month and see what changes. If nothing changes, we move onto plan B.

Today I also made a pact with my cousin to give up sweets for 10 days. I caved when I walked in the door. There are mini-Nutrageous bars in the candy jar on the table where I set my keys. I ate 2. Then the folks came over for dinner. They brought carrot cake for dessert. I ate a small piece, comparatively speaking, and a small scoop of vanilla ice cream.

But, I only went over my calories by like 40 calories.

I'm planning to go for a walk/run in the morning.

Keep your fingers crossed.

0 lbs: Getting Started....and Accountable

2006-10-09T16:14:00.000-05:00

I've taken shots at weight loss over and over again. I've had both healthy and unhealthy success. I am at a point now, though, that my weight must come under control before I begin to develop health problems. So here I go.

I'm not going to post pics here just yet. I want to do this for my health, not for vanity. I do want to measure progress, but I don't want to become obsessed (again) with how I look. I want to do this the right way. I want this to last.

It kills me to post my weight, but I will. And hopefully my progress.

WEEK 1

Current Weight: 212 pounds

Weight loss so far: 0 pounds

Biggest Temptation: Brownies at the downstairs deli

My treat: Just about anything I want, at this point.

My best discovery: I'm worth taking good care of.